LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL

Life is beautiful
We love until we die

When you run into my arms,
We steal a perfect moment.
Let the monsters see you smile,
Let them see you smiling.

Do I hold you too tightly?
When will the hurt kick in?

Life is beautiful, but it's complicated.
We barely make it.
We don't need to understand,
There are miracles, miracles.

Yeah, life is beautiful.
Our hearts, they beat and break.

When you run away from harm,
Will you run back into my arms,
Like you did when you were young?
Will you come back to me?

I will hold you tightly
When the hurting kicks in.

Life is beautiful, but it's complicated,
we barely make it.
We don't need to understand,
There are miracles, miracles.

Stand where you are.
We let all these moments pass us by.

It's amazing where I'm standing,
There's a lot that we can give.
This is ours just for a moment.
There's a lot that we can give.

This song has been playing over and over in my head lately. I've loved it since the first time I heard it in the movie "My Sister's Keeper". I think because it says so well what I've come to realize, especially in the past year or so. That life... as hard, confusing, frustrating, painful, terrifying, and exhausting as it can be sometimes...is truly beautiful. Alot, and I mean ALOT has happened in my life over the past three years. Let me rephrase that, alot has happened in my life period. I sometimes feel much older than my 21 years when I look back at my journey so far. But in looking back, the constant thread that I see is God's grace, mercy, and love surrounding me through everything. And that is where the beauty becomes evident. I've had some extremely dark moments and some very high moments. I'm no one special, no one particularly extraordinary, but I think everyone's story is unique in its own way. If I've learned anything in life so far it is to appreciate the beauty of people and their stories and their hearts. I've had the privilege of knowing and crossing paths with some incredible people. Some, it was a one time encounter that touched me to the core and affected me deeply. Some I am honored to call close friends and loved ones. As a massage therapist I have encountered hundreds of people over the last two years. It amazes me how you can sense people's spirit almost the instant you meet them. I've met people who were beautiful on the outside, but their spirit made them completely unattractive. And I've met people whom the world might not necessarily label "beautiful" but their spirit was so sweet, genuine, and loving that they literally glowed from the inside out. People like that melt me. Some of my clients will never know how deeply they affected my day or week just by being sweet or saying something encouraging that they had no idea I really needed to hear. I've done massages and had tears streaming down my face, marveling at how good God is to send such a beautiful person to enter my life at just that moment when I needed it. Those times remind me to be aware of my own spirit and how I come across to others. I don't want to be seen as the pretty face with no heart. I would rather have a beautiful heart and not be Top Model quality on the outside. I feel somewhat hypocritical saying this because I've struggled with body image and not feeling outwardly beautiful my whole life. But I think I can honestly make that statement because I've experienced first hand the price of striving for outer beauty alone and how that slowly snips away at who you really are until you really don't know what's left inside. And though I still struggle with the physical side of things, I'm realizing every day that what really matters is my heart and how I live this life and how I love people.
 I'm not sure where this blog is going to go. Writing has always been a sort of therapy for me and so some of it may just be that. Mostly I want to write about experiences I have and lessons I've learned. I'm not going to advertise this blog anywhere and probably won't invite anybody to read it, at least not in the beginning. But if you happen to run across it I hope something speaks to you in a positive way. I've been struggling recently with the questions, "Why am I here? What is my purpose in life? What am I supposed to be doing right now?" I still don't have definite answers, but one thing I do know, I want to affect other people's lives in a positive way, in any way that I can. I really feel like God has given me a heart to love people and I want to share that and not be afraid of the hurt that can come from it. I want to see people through His eyes and not through the tainted, judgemental eyes of this world.
 So to try to sum up the scatterbrained paragraphs above...this is about life. This crazy beautiful life that we all live...just my page of it in particular. :)